We Change, We Wait
by alwaysandforever2011
Summary: Bella doesn't want to hurt Jacob and Edward anymore so shes going to pick of them. Who will she choose? JacobxBellaxEdward.
1. Situation

**I'm not sure if i'm keeping the current name, suggestions?  
I guess you could say this is my first JacobxBellaxEdward conflict story and i'm pretty excited.  
I don't own anything.  
**

I couldn't keep doing this to myself, to them. They didn't deserve it, neither one of them did in the least bit but me being my selfish self, had put the two boys who had done nothing but care for me, in a ridiculous amount of pain. Maybe their lives would have turned out better if I would have just stayed in Phoenix. I would know of no Edward Cullen and he would not know of me. The only thing Jacob and I would know of each other would be the childhood memories of me playing with his sister. That's it, I decided. I can't keep them hanging on like this. I have to choose and I need to choose one forever. God knew how I was always second guessing myself, how I could never make up my mind but I told myself over and over that I could definitely give up one of them and save them both even more heartache. But what was I supposed to do? Both were a huge part of my life and I wasn't sure how to even start to analyze everything. Edward was, Edward. There was no word to truly describe him. He was like a glorious God whom I did nothing to deserve. He was everything I could have ever hoped for yet he was nothing of the sort. He was perfect in every way possible but it sometimes seemed as he was more of an authority figure then a boyfriend. And then there was Jacob, my personal sun. The boy who have saved me from insanity just a few months back. Jacob was just as much gorgeous as Edward was but in so many different ways. The way his brown round shaped eyes would reflect the sunlight when we would stand on the beach on rare sunny days, or the way his shaggy brown hair would fall in his face on a windy afternoon. The way he smiled at the very sound of my voice. But yet his immaturity made me wonder just what the right choice in this situation was. Edward and Jacob both brought out a different side of me, 2 sides of me that I wanted to hold on to forever. But the time had come. It was time for me to make my decision....

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	2. Bella Vs Bella

**Disclaimer; By my lack of writing skills, you should realize that i'm not Stephenie Meyer.**

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I could see my life with Edward, I could see it clearly.

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I could see me, I would be a vampire by this time and Edward and I have been married for centuries. Alice and I would practically be inseparable and Jasper would be able to be around me more, soon we would become close. Emmett would have to give up on his human games and Rosalie would over time get over the grudge she held against me.

The six of us would attend high school once again and Carlisle would get a job at the local hospital. For once, when I walked into school, it would be all the kids looking at me and thinking 'wow, she's gorgeous.' They would be the ones full of jealousy and envy. Edward would smirk at their thoughts and kiss my temple as we walked into our new school, as if he was marking his territory. I would sit in my classes twirling the wedding band on my left ring finger, wondering how I ever got so lucky. Edward would always be the one thing on my mind and since we wouldn't have to sleep, eat or any other human necessities, we would be free to be together indefinitely. I could kiss his flawless lips and not have to worry about him pushing me away, restricting me, because he would no longer have to fight the urge of my blood. Nothing would be able to keep us apart. We would go hunting together and when Alice would whisk me away on another shopping spree I wouldn't have to worry about where Edwards thoughts were because I would just know they were with me. I would finally measure up to his beauty, just like Tanya the strawberry blonde slut. Maybe even prettier than her. I loved Edward, and I would continue to love him as time passed by and we grew older on the inside but never out.

But there was one thing I couldn't keep off my mind. One other important aspect to my life and another world, another life, another vision. A vision, a dream I wanted bad but could never bring myself to admit until that moment.

I could imagine waking up every morning and looking in the deep brown eyes that had made me fall in love so many years ago. I could see myself brushing his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes as our kids jumped in the bed with us, asking when breakfast was. I could see Jacob and I cooking breakfast and sending the kids off to school at the reservation. Jacob would have by then stopped phasing because without me, the Cullen's wouldn't stick around for long. We would attend bonfires frequently and Jacob and Sam would tell of the legends while Emily and I would gossip. Emily and I would grow incredibly close and like her, I would be considered "a werewolf girl". She would be my maid of honor while Embry was Jacob's best man. We would grow old together, literally. We would grow older with each passing day but I wouldn't mind this time. I would be able to watch my kids, my own flesh and blood, grow older as well until they married and had kids of their own. I wouldn't have to abandon Charlie or Renee. In fact, Billy would probably let Charlie in on the werewolf secret after awhile, which I was sure would bring Charlie and I closer together. As our son would begin to phase, Jacob would be right there to help him through it and our little boy would take his rightful spot as alpha. I could see the look in Jake's eyes as he watched our son run through the woods. He would miss it, but he'd look at me, our children and not regret a thing. Jacob would savor my humanity. He could give me things that I never knew I wanted.

I wanted both, I wanted both so bad that I struggled to breathe at the thought of giving up one. I needed to figure out what I wanted, what I really needed. "What do you want Bella?" I heard Edward in my head.

"Make up your mind Bells, quit messing with mind." Jacob this time.

It seemed to be Bella vs. Bella. The reckless and carefree Bella vs. The mature and sensible Bella. Either way, Bella loses.

"What do I want?" I asked myself.

Vampire or Werewolf. Immortality or humanity.

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